Life is tough. Everyone has been burned at one point or the other, some of us multiple times. It’s human nature to want to protect one’s self from future hurt; chalk it up to basic human survival instinct. Being a “hard guy” is cool and being lovey-dovey is seen as foolish or “simping”. Can’t lie, I know the allure of pretending not to care and pretending that I’m not a lovey-dovey person. But I’ve come to accept the fact that it is very much who I am. When I love, I love HARD ( I recognise the cliché).
I love “love”. I loveeee seeing people who are truly in love. I love seeing families express love. I love seeing friends express love. I’ve done the silliest things for love. Honestly, if I start, I’ll type and type AND type. I’ve refused to see a person’s true self because of love. I’ve (stupidly) ignored my values and forgone personal integrity because of love. Do I regret it? Not at all. I just wish I had received that same energy and love back. Nothing spoil sha. But you know what? I’ll do it all again, with a bit more wisdom of course. I’ll go shopping every month for anniversary gifts again. I’ll stay up all night looking for that one item on the entire internet because I know they really want it again. I’ll spend hours perfecting that meal because I know they like it again. There are a million things I’d do again. That I’ll still do. Because that’s me, that’s what it means to be me.
I absolutely understand why a person would decide not to though. Why certain actions would seem like foolish actions or actions reserved solely for spouses or soon to be spouses. It sucks when you love freely and give your all and it is taken for granted or taken advantage of. My hope is that they eventually can love as freely again and have it reciprocated.
Love and Light,